An agreement is hereby made between you (an adult female)
and me (an adult male) to engage in a sexual act on Friday, 13th February 2020
from 11PM to 6AM.This agreement is binding to both parties and is made in the
presence of a lawyer and one witness. By signing this agreement, you agree to
abide by the conditions and you do realize;
That you will travel to my place using your own means of
transport and in the morning I have the liberty to provide for you a means of
transport back to your place. This can come in form of bus fare or taxi fare
and the amount is entirely up to me to decide.
That you will not change your mind once you are inside my
house and if you do so I have the right to vent my anger in form of insults and
even chasing you from my house without providing for you any means of
transport.
That you are agreeing to surrender your body wholly to me
during the entire period of the time stipulated above and the Christian
definition of a body as a house of God will not hold, at least for that period.
That you will get completely naked in front of me and allow
me to enter you by any means that we shall agree befitting for humans as far as
human copulation is concerned.
That we shall have intermittent breaks to allow us regain
our strengths.
That you have the right to stop me if I attempt something
that you are not comfortable with or when you feel you are hurting or you are
bored, or both.
That you are not my wife and therefore the act will be
classified under “fornication.”
That the act itself is sinful and in case any form of
punishment will come from God, everyone will carry his or her own cross.
That there will be no photos or video recording during the
entire period of the copulation and in case of a secret audio/visual recording
device, the recorded content shall be deleted and not used for blackmail,
extortion or any other malicious act.
That in case there will be no protection used during the
coitus, then there will be a possibility of sexually transmitted diseases/infections
being passed from one party to another. These infections include but not
limited to Gonorrhea, Syphilis, and H.I.V/AIDS etc.
That the act may make you pregnant and if that does happen,
then it will not be used as a trap to get me into paying child support or any
other support that you may come up with before, during and after the delivery
of the child.
That the sexual union shall be purely a one-off “sweet exercise” aimed to satisfy canal
desires of the parties involved and therefore it should NEVER be used as a
reason to claim ownership and/or advance any other form of relationship between
us.
That you are responsible for your own pleasure and in the
event that you do not reach climax, I shall not be held liable.
That you vow to keep the sexual act a secret only known to
you and me and NO other third party (apart from the lawyer and one witness
named above) will be informed.
That if you breach any part or whole of this agreement then
you are liable to a jail term of three years or a fine of Kshs 170,000 or
both.
(photo/www.pinterest.com)

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