The verdict

I greet the gathering, “Oyaore?”

Allow me to use the little Englis I gathered from Barack Obama community school,

So I will greet the gathering again, “It is open,”

I stand here as the chief of Rabuor village, Alego Usonga constituency,

The right honorable Jaduong’ Milton Ojuok Obila,

I stand here to give the verdict that the council of elders have arrived at after a thorough deliberation on this matter that is before us today,

I will speak on behalf of the council of Jodongo.

I have listened, attentively, to Dickson Onyango Obiero, the young man who slept with Ja-Alego’s youngest wife,

He refused to apologize,

He said that it is the wife of Ja-Alego who seduced him and so he is innocent,

Well, I want to tell Dickson (I hear they call him “Dick-Dick” because of his apparently sharp penis) that what he did was very wrong.

Our forefathers said that, “Miluma ok ong’eyo jadhier,”

I would have translated that in Englis but my Englis is very limited,

While that saying is true, it cannot be used as reason to commit crime,

The council of elders have therefore decided to ex-communicate him from this village,

However, the order shall not be effected immediately as the harvesting season is just around the corner,

We shall allow him to harvest his maize and sorghum and after that we shall expect him to voluntarily leave this village for good,

If he disobeys this order, then we shall have no option but to engage the readily available services of a witch-doctor.

Alego tat-yien oyeee!!

I have also listened carefully to the cries and pleas of Abigael, Nyar-Kano,

It is without a doubt that she has suffered for a long time,

Having an almost impotent man for a husband is a very disturbing ordeal,

I know Othieno Ja-Alego very well,

We have been friends for many years,

We have drank Achwaka together and I must say that all the things Nyar-Kano said about him are true,

He drinks too much to an extent that he urinates on himself,

It, therefore, did not come as a surprise that his wife cheated on him with a younger, energetic man.

The council of elders finds Nyar-kano innocent,

It is the desire of every woman to have children,

The only fault that we find Nyar-Kano with is the fact that she did not do it the proper way,

She should have consulted the elders for proper guidance on how to go about it,

Nethertheless, we shall allow her to go free but under the following conditions;

First, she will be separated from her husband during the entire period of her pregnancy,

With immediate effect, she will move in with me to serve as my “Fifth wife”,

A wife without portfolio,

When she delivers, she will be re-united with her husband,

Two, her husband, Ja-Alego is hereby banned from visiting any Chang’aa den not only in this village but also in the neighboring villages,

He will be required to report to the council of elders after every two months for mandatory alcohol test,

With those few remarks, I beg to officially close this matter,

The gathering may disperse.

(image credits: africanperspectivesconference.wordpress.com)